By: John Lee (AKA Controlled Labs Trainer)

My life is one of dedication. It is one of devotion. And yes, it revolves around fitness.

Lots of people have gym memberships. In fact, I had wager to say that a lot of people in this country have more than one. Lots of people exercise; some obsessively so. Lots of people eat well; some to the extent of overkill. Even so, few would ever understand the price and putting it all together, in one package, and making it work like a well-oiled machine. Why? It is difficult; abnormal perhaps, or even insane.

It is the road I have chosen. It is not a beaten path. It wasn't something I was born ready to walk. It took a lot of pain, and I dare not say I always had the courage to face my decisions day to day.  However it turned out, they were my decisions and mine alone. No one else has had a hand in it, and I care not for another is opinions as long as I stay true to mine. I don't expect to be understood, and I don't wish for a better hand. I simply play the one I was dealt to the best of my abilities and hope I can arrange it so my path to the top belongs to me and me alone.

Everyday I open my eyes, I already know getting up would bring me little satisfaction other than another day of bland food, long day at work, and ridiculous workouts performed at high levels with very little nourishment to fortify the body that has stubbornly refused to fail it is master through the years. Yet, get up I must, and I stroll into the kitchen for another breakfast of baked chicken and steamed veggies. No salt, no condiments, no oil. It is gotten so monotonous that I hardly pay attention to it anymore. Every motion is the same, and I prepare it like I have always prepared it during the on season. What is there to wash things down with? A nice protein shake of course. What else would belong next to a meal this boring?

As soon as breakfast is over, I realize that like my breakfast, 3 more meals that day would be exactly as boring, exactly as bland, and exactly as terrible. Why? Cuz they had be exactly the same. The lone meal that wouldn't be so tedious would be that precious post workout shake, where I would be treated to a rich, thick shake of protein and carbs. Everyday my body craves that meal; it is perhaps the only one packed with enough energy to satisfy a beat-up body.

Ever try sitting at work on an ultra-low carb diet? If you have, you know it is not fun. Your brain is cloudy at best, and everything seems to be a beat slow. I imagine that 6 out of the 7 days of the week, my carb intake is between 80-100g per day. Total calories are perhaps 2500 at the most, excluding the cheat day that I so desperately need at the end of the week. Why go to such extent, you ask? It is part of who I have become. I don't ask for things to be different, I accept the man I've become and I've learned to love the daily grind, however difficult it may be. Why do something I care about half-assed? Why would I expect so much, if I only plan to give a little? That wouldn't seem right. Even if there were shortcuts in this lifestyle I've given my heart and soul to, I had prefer not taking them. To me, something someone yearns for and dreams about should not come without a price. It is the only way we as people learn to cherish the rarest of the rare. It is the only way we as people learn to hold onto things we find the most precious.

Everyday, as the workout time draws near, the same feeling of anticipation and exhilaration starts to build. As tired as drained as I get by this time of the day, it is still somewhat of a highlight even after 8 years of the same thing. Excellence comes from repetition, maturity, experience, and a constant upwards climb on the learning curve. Excellence is also something I demand, because the standards I've set up for me does not understand the meaning of mediocrity. It is for these reasons that after so many years, I still very much look forward to the training sessions. They are like hurdles set up for me, by me, to test the indomitable spirit I believe I still possess to achieve whatever it is I put my mind to.

Working out is like any other endeavor. The smartest, hardest working, and most talented wins and arrives at the top first. Rep after rep, set after set, I dare not forget the passion I worked out with on day 1. Day 1 was the day, 8 years ago, that I decided to forego all my fears, all my worries, and partake in this impossible dream of mine. It was the day my mind was still fresh, my heart still pure, my desire still second-to-none. I model my workouts everyday like I did that first day, because I know I should always remember and never forget.

After workouts, which include cardio (and I hate cardio), it is usually time to pack it up and go home. It is perhaps during this time, when the day finally slows down and my body is finally completely beat up, that I realize how lonely a road this has been. Sometimes I get home, take my shower, and just sit on the couch with the TV on. Whatever program is on, I am looking, but probably not watching. My mind is tired, but it does not slow down like my body does. It races, and I begin to wonder.

It is been almost 3 years. 3 years of solitude. For the last 3 years, I've chosen to walk this road on my own. For the last 3 years, I let no one into my life who could have potentially distracted me enough to derail a life built around regimentation, discipline, and serenity. Yet, I am human after all; and the sentimentalist inside makes it impossible to escape the part of human nature that yearns for intimacy and love. I've yet to learn to cope with these feelings completely; and I know, deep inside, I will never conquer it enough to completely believe that I am better off alone.

This is my life. This is where I believe I will make my mark. This is the result of personal growth, mental maturity, and mind over matter. A lifestyle like this not only guarantees success in the fitness realm, it also radiates into every other aspect of life that it has to offer. The body, like every truly valued possession, is more than something money can buy. It is a reflection of the mind, which ultimately dictates the kind of persons we are. I don't know about everyone else, but when I walk into a room today or tomorrow, speaking or with my mouth shut, in a jacket or wife beater, I want everyone to feel and know that they are in the presence of someone great; someone who has paid his dues.